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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Wednesday, December 16, 1981 - part 2

I'd been thinking about doing this for some time. First, to be sure that I was ok in this way. Second, because my sexual partners, from time to time, have expressed anxiety about it, or someone they have sex with has mentioned it. At least one man has said he will not have sex with one of my partners because he is afraid of Herpes, which he imagines himself getting from her, via me. It is also a way of becoming more conscious of one's sexual relationships. And how much one cares about those relationships. I find many people concerned about getting something from someone, but less concerned that they will be the giver. The situation is like this for me. I have 3 sexual partners. All women. I have had sex with two of them for almost two years, and almost 2 months with the third. They have all expressed varying degrees of anxiety about my other relationships. Each of them has had from 9 to 15 sexual contacts, different partners, in the last two years. But their anxiety seems to be mostly directed at my other partners, through me, rather than themselves. And this makes some sense as these other people are more unknown than their own partners. So my idea is to practice some preventative medicine to help put these anxieties to rest. I will start with myself and ask them to do the same. They can be responsible for whoever they relate to. A second part of this is to start some sort of public record. I am thinking of a notebook with the results of my own and other tests. I will make it available to anyone who will have any sort of sexual contact with the people in our 'ògroup'. So I am starting a notebook, VD Test Results. Results will be stored in chronological order, and alphabetically, by last name, within a given month and year. A number of people have told me its a good idea and that they will join me in doing this. I look forward to their participation. Anyone may join in.

Most of my time, half an hour at least, was spent in a most interesting conversation with Ms C. Asking me how I'd learned of the clinic, I tell her it was from an article in a local newspaper. She was not pleased with this paper as she had been badly interviewed several years ago, by them. But she did want to get a copy of the article. I was taking notes at this point and she wanted to know if it was for a newspaper article. No, but I told her about my notes and what I wanted to do with what I wrote about my experience at the clinic. I promised to send her a copy.

Herpes was the biggest topic of conversation. Its the thing most people are afraid of. 50% of the people never get it. They are protected by virtue of having contacted Herpes I, cold sores, as a child. I had these things coming out my ears. So it seems I'm well protected against them, and will most likely never get it. She emphasized how stress and anxiety seem to be the biggest cause of an outbreak of Herpes once it is contacted. Its not so terrible. It can be sore. But there is no danger if sexual contact is avoided during this active phase. There is no danger at any time. Avoid sex when you have the symptoms, and you will never get it. It seems that Herpes is increasing. Her theory is that some of it is due to increased oral sex. Something about how Herpes I & II get passed around and perhaps have some sort of catalyst, or activating, influence on each other. She does not believe Herpes to be related to cervical cancer. One out of 7900 babies born at Boston Lying In last year, 1980, was done by cesarian section because of an active Herpes case. One in 5 million cases of Herpes may die from related cause. There is about 10 times the chance of getting it in an airplane crash. So, avoid oral sex when you have cold sores. She finds that women will use a fear of Herpes as a way of avoiding sex. Men get things most often, but women have the most fear of getting something. Most of these cases turn out to be just fear, and behind it a fear of sex.

A most interesting story of 17 couples in Newton. They are married, have jobs, homes, children. But they have organized themselves in order to get more sexual satisfaction. At the same time they are very conscious of problems that can arise from having so many potential sexual contacts. She has been seeing some of the men for several years. They have regular examinations, but doesn't know what they will do now that the funding for that clinic has been cut. They range from 30's to 50's in age. I want to contact them to learn how they contacted each other originally, how they got started, overcame problems of jealousy, and how it is going now. I want to organize something like this for myself. As do many other people. Syphilis is another interesting topic. It starts, sometimes, with a simple sore around the genital area. Sometimes nothing. One gets a rash on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet after 6 weeks. Then nothing. It goes to sleep for from 5 to 15 years. It lodges in an organ, or organs. It wakes up and destroys the organ(s). Its simple to cure. Penicillin will do it. Its something you can have and not know. This test, done with blood, takes about a week.

So, I am writing this with the idea of sending it to people that I know and/or am sexually involved with. I hope it will help put an end to some anxiety, and some of the finger pointing. People can have themselves tested, and ask their sexual partners to do the same. In addition, I want to do something about the question of how people can best get their sexual needs met. How to be satisfied and solve some of the problems of health care and emotional care. I feel like Ms C, who had a very positive attitude about sex, and who, sometime during our conversation, told me that people should stop worrying and have fun.

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