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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Saturday, December 5, 1981 - consequences of writing

I am writing in my little notebook while we talk. Are you an FBI agent, he asks. Hand over those notes, he demands. You're the one who'e into openness and honesty, he says with an indignant tone in his voice. He doesn't get them. Somehow, and just how escapes me, he says something to the effect that I've hit the nail right on the head, I've gotten right to the heart of the matter, I've noticed that he isn't getting enough sex. But I said nothing of the sort. Just a few knowing looks and nods of the head. Without saying a word to him about the subject, he imagines that I've concluded his current problem is not getting fucked enough. This was obvious from what he told Simone, and she later related to me. But he said nothing of the sort in mixed company. Except to say that Debbie had gotten out her TV and was always watching it. He's thinking of divorce again. Built himself a cage and wants to get out of it.

Lots of comments about my notes from recent readers. Dave Burmaster: ranges from brilliant to dull. I could never say all those things about myself. Made me think about my relationship with Becky and what happened. Ann: you know what I like about your notes? They show that everybody's life is as crazy as mine. Teri: entranced. Reminds me of Anais Nin. After reading the parts about sexuality I decided to do something more concrete about birth control. I'm going to do something about it. I had an abortion last Spring and don't want it to happen again. Lotti: you don't break any new ground, its boring, the same old stuff. Mark Levy: amazed at my writing. It has an emotional impact on him. He appalled as I seem to be somewhat of an exhibitionist, and I'm not being moralistic, he assure me. Sandy Copeman: (as told to Simone) she's not going to lie about her other relationships. Right now she sees several people and doesn't tell them about the others. She also confessed to having a funny relationship with a psychiatrist. Their sessions sometimes last for hours. She couldn't say it directly, but I think he's fucking her, but its part of the 'therapy'.

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