The Cambridge Chronicles

Spent half the afternoon talking to Dana about the fight between me and Simone. He asked her to be especially nice to me for the next two days. To cancel her dates with other people. He is worried that she will be in a bad mood for the Friday open house. Fix him a nice dinner and buy him some chocolates, he suggests. Such an old topic for a fight. But I am also upset about Linda. Does it cloud what I see or does it induce me to speak my mind more than usual? Actually I hold back more when things are going better. A bad mood makes me want to cut everyone to pieces. The talk got some secrets out of Dana. He called Suzanne the other day, but she was reluctant to speak with him at any length. It seems she is seeing a couple of men. And she is one who accuses him of being corrupted by and under my influence. Also, that he has been missing Polly, and thinks about contacting her again. Something I didn't know, but suspected, that Polly has more than one relationship. Dana thinks she fucks with only one person at a time, however.

A dream about Adele and Cheyenne. We are in Cambridge, riding bicycles. I am following them. They go into some sort of building, like a church.

Another fight with Simone. Its about the position I find myself in with more and more people. Something happens to them, some sort of disaster, or they plan a disaster. My course is to speak about how I see it. Or its something I see Simone doing. I noticed something about Ken a few days ago. He stopped talking about the other women he was seeing. He's stopped having other relationships. He only wants to be with Simone. He talks about loving her and having a child with her. They cut themselves off from other relationships. They begin to see everything in their relationship with Simone as leading to more and more involvement. But she is only good at leading them on. Nothing can come of it. She can't be the wife of several people. They want her only for themselves. They offer a ring and marriage. Jeff and Stu and others. She recognizes it - prison. Ken seems to be in this stage where he wants to be with her all the time and talks about having children. He abandons all else for this wonderful feeling of being in love with Simone. She fights me on this. She's at one end of the hall shouting at me. I'm in my room throwing something at her every now and then to keep her biting. She gets off onto Her situation with Jeff. She's to see him tonight. But late again. It gets later. Its some kind of resistance she has to falling into her feelings with him. Sometimes I just want to stay with him forever, and never come back to you, she tells me. Do you want me to call Jeff and tell him, right now what's going on for me, she asks. I don't know exactly what this thing is but its there. She is not always straight with Jeff. Later she tells me about telling him what was really going on for her and how he did the same. So, the result of spilling all the beans is that Jeff really said something about himself. Like how he really was jealous of Ken the other night. So who isn't jealous of someone in such a situation? I feel it. Its only a question of practiced deception. Its possible to make it seem as though one isn't really feeling something. Today