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Friday, October 11, 2013

Friday, October 2, 1981 - poetry for lasses

I wrote a poem for Simone while sitting at the kitchen table, eating the lunch she had made for me: a turkey, cheese, and tomato sandwich, and some cookies and an apple. Here it is:

Higgeldy, piggeldy, bump.
While laying in bed late last night
You heard a thing that went bump!
Don't pay it no mind,
You know its only my lump!

She wants to put it in her notebook - the Richard and Simone file. Have you been writing lately, I ask. Yes, but the last ten pages were bullshit, so I threw them away, she responds. And don't go looking in the garbage for them, she pleads.

Linda has abruptly ended a phone conversation with me. She does not want to hear about being number 2. That is, she's not number one with me. She can't face hearing this. On the other hand, she doesn't do as much for me as Simone, who always likes to remind me of this. Tell me just one thing she has ever done for you, she demands. Its true. Linda does very little for me. She seldom goes out of her way for me. She is like most of the men Simone knows. She always expects, or feels entitled. She informs me of her plans to return to NYC. Its not working out the way she wants. Earlier in the conversation she complains about how a person can't rely on anyone. One of the people who was to move in this last month has not been seen for two weeks. She doesn't understand why things aren't going better for her. Why aren't men more interested in her. Why did I get these lousy roommates for her. She wanted them to commit themselves to living with her for at least a year. And now she plans to leave. Even going so far as to give up the lease on her apartment. She whines about how men are so callous and superficial, and then tells me about how she only picks men with beautiful bodies, and how could Nadine ever have someone like Martin. Nadine thinks he's just fine. His body also. So blind to her prejudice. She rejects anyone who doesn't fit into her exacting standards. And, at the same time, wonders why she has so little contact with people. Wonders why Simone has so many friends. Simple, she doesn't reject as many people as Linda.

Simone has called from the Cape, where she is attending Nancie's wedding. Lots of people and money around her, but she wants me. Michael Schaffer is there asking her if I have brought 'him'. He means me. She told me of her idea to have me sleep with her and Nancie tonight. I would fuck her and then Nancie. But its only a ruse to get me there. Before leaving she asked if there was anything I wanted to tell Bob and Nancie. Yes, says I, tell them to stop using you as an intermediary and mouthpiece. Speak for themselves. Bob walked away from her when she told him. Nancie still has not told her mother she is pregnant. She has some imaginary fear that they will make trouble over it. Simone is staying with Jeff tonight. Nancie wanted Simone to sleep with her tonight. She said Darby wanted to sleep with her the next night.

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