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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

February 20, 1981 - there's a new woman in town

A new idea for writing. During the day I make notes about different topics that occur to me. This way, even if I skip writing for a day, there will be no shortage of topics. This feeling is causing a little panic in me, namely, running out of things to write about. I got a new name and phone number for my little green box today. This is for 3 by 5 cards with the name, address, and phone number of many of the women I know. Her name is Nina. She is subletting Linda's apartment until June. Very attractive. She was a dancer in NYC. Not much like Linda. Too subdued. I find myself attracted to her anyway. Linda told her to be careful with me, that I might ask her to sleep with me, but I know lots of people and am very interesting. She would not find me boring. Then I think to myself, is this going to be worth the effort to start a relationship with her? She's not very outgoing. Linda is likely to work at odds to me if anything gets started. But on the other hand there is a very definite desire in me. Why should such a thing cause so many rationalizations to rise up in me? Some anxiety about what Linda will think. Some anxiety about having some common contact. I think about it, struggle inside, and get paralyzed. Forget it and go to something else.

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