The Cambridge Chronicles

Feelin fragile - the opposite of feelin groovy. I have been nervous
much of the day. There is still something in the air with me and
Simone. We talk about something that has happened and she thinks some
sort of resolution or solution has come from this. But the problem
with Linda is still there. Its as though she is hoping I will change
somehow. That the pressure and threats of leaving will bring me
around. Stu has asked her to marry him again. He won't see her again
if she continues to live with me. I've said I don't need someone who
would leave me to be with him. It seems like a little joke. I watch
the clock. Its not plugged in but the second hand seems to jump ahead.
Time being thrown away, wasted. Last night a two hour, 11:30 to
1:30am, conversation with Susan Parker. Someone who knows Joe. We
talked about couple relationships and FH. I asked her about coming
over with a bag of potato chips. Fine, she said, if you had asked an
hour ago. She must be at work by 7 or so. But I spoke with her this
evening and we have a date for next Tuesday, February 3. She said how
about tomorrow, but I'll be out of town. A sinking feeling when she
says she can't see me till then. I am churning and spinning my
emotional wheels again. I am jealous of Joe who was at her house, for
a meeting. Nietzsche: The consequences of our actions take hold of us,
quite indifferent to our claim that meanwhile we have improved. The
results of our behavior ruin our lives, and doesn't care about our
saying that we have grown a lot. what faces he might be making at
today's human potential movement. And when will I realize my
potential? When will I be more positive about myself and when will my
self be more I? That Nietzsche writes so good. So many interesting
ideas, such good paragraphs. And I struggle to describe my own
condition. Incredibly hungry today. Again. What can I point to today
as a gain, again? When was the last time?